Jul 13

A Definitive Rating of the Marvel Heartthrobs

C’mon have you seen them?

We’ve already gone over the Disney Channel heartthrobs of our childhood, so now it’s time to talk about the fictional and not-so-fictional characters we swoon over in our adulthood — Marvel men. Lucky for us, we’ve seen a lot of them in the past few years as numerous Marvel movies and series have been released.

Here's our definitive ranking of those oh-so-beautiful Marvel heartthrobs.

Captain America – Steve Rogers – Chris Evans

Let’s start with a fan favorite, Captain America. Since starting his role in 2011’s Captain America: The First Avenger, the six-foot blonde, blue-eyed actor has America wrapped around his finger because not only is he the first Avenger, he’s the hottest Avenger. If his charm wasn’t enough, he’s the full package with his humor, personality, and free motivation for you to hit the StairMaster. And we can’t forget, he has America’s ass! 10/10

Hawkeye – Clint Barton – Jeremy Renner

While I can admire that Clint Barton is a family man and Hawkeye is extremely tactical with a bow and arrow, I think we can agree that we don’t watch Avengers just to see Hawkeye. Sorry bud, you’re cute but you just can’t compare to the others. 5/10

Vision – Paul Bettany

Don’t get me wrong, Paul Bettany and human Vision are good looking, but why do I think he looks better made of bright red vibranium? Maybe it’s that his forehead isn’t as noticeable when he’s a robot? Although, the short hair on human Vision in Avengers: Age of Ultron was much better than the long hair and glasses in WandaVision. 7/10

Spider-Man – Peter Parker – Tom Holland

The cutest little spider that ever did exist. But seriously, Tom Holland is absolutely adorable and makes the perfect Peter Parker. And he has some of the best one-liners. Who doesn’t love a dorky Brit pretending to be from NYC? Let’s be honest, we’d all Spiderman kiss that Spider-Man. 10/10

Star Lord – Peter Quill – Chris Pratt

Now typically you’d think someone would have to be near-perfect to guard an entire galaxy. But because he is part of the reason Thanos wiped out a huge portion of the population — I’d say he’s pretty far from perfect. Personally, all I see is Mouse Rat’s leading star, Andy Dwyer, and have a hard time associating him with Marvel. 4/10

Black Panther – T’Challa – Chadwick Boseman

From his charming smile to his infectious personality, Chadwick was the king of all our hearts. His presence is so missed — Wakanda forever. 10/10

Loki – Tom Hiddleston

Our favorite villain and God of Mischief. I don’t know if it’s Hiddleston’s gorgeous blue eyes or Loki’s energy manipulation abilities, but there’s something about him that the audience can’t get enough of. Why else would we continuously look past his evil doings other than… he’s hot? 9/10

Thor – Chris Hemsworth

We’re drawn to Chris Hemsworth just like Thor’s hammer is drawn to him. He’s Australian, ripped, and a superhero. Does it get any better than that? 10/10

Iron Man – Tony Stark – Robert Downey Jr.

I don’t know if it’s the overconfidence or mustache, but something just isn’t working for me. While the armored Avenger is a literal genius who created his first suit to escape his captors and become a vital part of the Avengers, he’s just not my favorite. Plus once you’ve seen a man lose half of his body fat from being trapped in a spaceship, I think the romance is gone. Pepper, honey, he’s all yours. 6/10

The Incredible Hulk – Bruce Banner – Mark Ruffalo

One could argue that Bruce Banner is the full package — smart, strong, and handsome. Okay, strong is an understatement. At least he’s able to contain his rage...? Ok, well, at least he’s good looking! 7/10

The Winter Soldier – Bucky Barnes – Sebastian Stan

We were truly blessed with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Sebastian Stan is a dreamboat and Bucky Barnes and that smile is the reason I watch TFATWS. I don’t know how someone can go from gorgeous to drop-dead gorgeous after a simple haircut, but Bucky sure did. It’s like the ‘90s stereotype of she removes her glasses and she’s pretty, well he got a haircut and DAYUM. 9/10

Deadpool – Wade – Ryan Reynolds

I don’t know who is luckier, Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively. Not only is he adorable, but his sense of humor fits in perfectly with Deadpool. We know he’s not technically an Avenger (yet), but that’s just because they don’t think we could handle another hottie in one group. It’s OK Wade, we’ll always include you in our hearts. 9/10

Doctor Strange – Stephen Strange – Benedict Cumberbatch

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed Doctor Strange and I think Cumberbatch did a good job at playing the role. I just can’t help but think it’s funny that he’s a strange-looking man playing the role of Doctor Strange. Maybe it’s the weird goatee? I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it. 6/10

Falcon – Sam Wilson – Anthony Mackie

Like I said before, we were blessed with TFATWS. There is no one else I’d want to become the new Captain America. I’m sure he’ll have America swooning over him too. Move over Cap, there’s a new butt in town… just kidding no one can replace that ass. 9/10

Ant-Man — Scott Lang — Paul Rudd

Say what you want about Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, but you can't deny that Paul Rudd is a zaddy. We'd let him lead us through the Quantum Realm any day — but, maybe we'd prefer some quality house arrest time, instead. 8/10

Shang-Chi — Simu Liu

Seeing Simu Liu kick butt as Shang-Chi might be described as a religious experience. All I can say is I hope we get more Shang-Chi in the future — for story reasons, of course, not personal. 7/10