A Definitive Ranking of Star Wars Heartthrobs
Updated: May 3, 2022
From Anakin to the Mando, we’re ranking the hottest Star Wars characters.
OK, OK, you’re probably not watching Star Wars to look at the hot characters. Truthfully, there aren’t even enough real human people to make “looking at eye candy” one of the top 10 reasons you watch Star Wars. But, even non-Star Wars fans can appreciate some of the attractive men in this franchise.
Credit: Starwars.com (Left) Wookiepedia (Right)
Anakin/Darth Vader (Hayden Christensen)
Hmmm, is it bad that I don’t even care that he’s evil? Why’d you have to go to the dark side and get all burnt up, Anakin? Even the scar is attractive. But, I guess we have to take off points because he, like, kills children and stuff.
7/10
C-3PO
It doesn’t even matter that he’s a droid, I’m not interested solely because he’s such a goody two-shoes. We have an entire galaxy we can explore and you want to tell me what I can and can’t do? Pass.
1/10
Finn (John Boyega)
We love a redemption story. A bad guy turned good and all that. And if a stormtrooper took off his helmet and looked like that…DANG. And I was just expecting a Jango Clone.
8/10
Han Solo (Harrison Ford)
The OG Star Wars hottie (sorry Luke). He may be a little arrogant sometimes, but he makes up for it in other ways. And let’s address the elephant here, yes, he did father an evil person. But we won’t hold that one against you, Han.
9/10
Jabba the Hutt
I know he seems like a shoe-in to be a low rating, but here me out. Jabba’s got power. Keep your enemies closer, right? I don’t want to be on the bad side of this creepy slug man. Maybe we could work out a nice sugar daddy situation?
5/10
Kylo Ren (Adam Driver)
Dang, Star Wars, why do you have to make the evil ones the most attractive? Long hair must be a big thing on the Star Wars planets, huh? They must not have any good hairdressers — I mean have you seen Princess Leia’s hair? And she was a princess! OK, I digress. He’s still cute, though.
8/10
The Mandalorian (Pedro Pascal)
So we rarely ever see the Mandalorian’s face, but somehow I still know he’s hot. Maybe it’s the way he acts with Baby Yoda, but he just seems like such a nice dude. But also one who would get into a bar fight if another guy looked at you the wrong way…
9/10
Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor)
Now why couldn’t this Obi-Wan be in all the movies? I’d definitely watch them then. However, I’m not sure I’m digging the whole Jesus look.
8/10
Rancor
Have to say, he’s a little terrifying. I’d rather be hanging out with Darth Vader than this dude who could shred me in half with his claws. Also how tall is he? He doesn’t look like he needs to put a height joke on his dating profile — we get it bro, you’re over six foot. 1/10
Chewbacca
Something about the hair freaks me out. I feel like it would just get so matted and dirty — I mean, come on, with all that sand! Sorry Chewie, you’re more like a big, huggable teddy bear.
2/10
Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac)
I know they say pilots are big cheaters, but I wouldn’t even care if he looked like this. This is the kind of guy you take home to the ‘rents. Not evil or anything. 10/10
Commenti